Loving Your Family: Celebrate the Differences

by Vicki D. Balkcum


As we look in the Bible, we can discover stories of family relationships. One of the most memorable is the story of Joseph and his relationship with his brothers in Genesis.

In that story, we can glean three important and useful points in our own familial relationships:

1. Discover the differences in temperaments.

“Someone has said of the four (basic) temperaments that the creative melancholy invents things, the choleric manufactures them, the sanguine sells them, and the phlegmatic enjoys them.”

Family members have different temperaments. “With at least six people contributing to their makeup through the gene pool, most people tend to be a combination of temperaments rather than a single temperament.” (Quotes from Beverly La Haye in The New Spirit-Controlled Woman.)

2. Discern your role in your family as God sees it.

God wants to use you to minister to your family members — immediate and extended — through prayer and service.

Prayer is our first and most important role of ministry to our family. Ephesians 6:18 tells us to “pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” God desires honesty in our prayers, and sometimes we just need to vent!

The second way God uses us to minister to family members is service. This means to make a decisive aim and habit to reach out to family members in small but kind and loving ways, such as greeting cards, phone calls, emails, written notes, lunches/dinners, kids’ play dates, driving to doctors’ appointments and numerous other ways of helping and/or fellowship.

3. Desire holy love.

II Timothy 1:9 says (God) ”has saved us and called us to a holy life…because of his own purpose and grace.”

A huge part of being called to a principle of holiness and Christ-like love is putting on the virtues of Christ, or what I call “living results of the Christian life.”
We find these virtues listed in Colossians 3:12-14 — compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13) “and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14

We will all, at some time, hurt or disappoint someone close to us. And we will all, at some time, be hurt or disappointed by someone close to us. It is very important to forgive easily and readily if you are on the receiving end!

Always remember to focus on God, His will and His purpose. In this way we demonstrate the kind of love that Jesus Christ displayed where our family is concerned, and His love is unselfish and unconditional.

May God use each of us in our family relationships to produce eternal fruit. May you enjoy authentic family relationships.